The Huge Problem with Friendships

Growing up, I’ve realized that there is a thin line between real friends that want you to do well no matter what, and friends that secretly want you to fail. Sometimes its hard to tell what a person wants from you. The best thing a person could want from another would be a relationship. No, I’m not just talking about girlfriends or boyfriends; I’m talking about them all. Friendships being the ultimate goal in a new person. A friend shouldn’t rely on you only for money, a car, a place to hangout, or even to get to another person they may be interested in. A friend should rely on you for advice, care, honesty, and a bunch of other things that don’t root from money or status.

Don’t get me wrong, friendship does have its perks. A ‘good friend’ would always have your back, they would want you to succeed in everything and would do anything in their power to get you where you want to go. Sometimes that does involve using connections, money and time – but when they are a true friend, there are times when its okay to be ‘used’. Not ‘used’ as in used and thrown away; ‘used’ as in helping out or doing a favor.

My point with this blog post is that some friends aren’t good friends. Some people do not want the best for their ‘friends’. There has definitely been times when I have had negative thoughts towards my friends, but not once have I acted on them. By negative thoughts, I mean wishing the good things happening to them were happening to myself, or not happening to them. That is not being a good friend, and I am admitting that I was not a good friend.

However, I have changed my ways. I want my friends to be just as successful as I want to be myself. I want us all to be comfortable in life and I now want to be as empowering as I can be towards other people and especially my friends and family. When they ask me if an outfit looks good, and it does – of course it’s possible that I am jealous because their body type can wear it and mine can’t.. but I will always tell her, “yes! Wear that!! You look gorgeous!” (as long as it does.. I’m not going to lie and say it looks great when she looks terrible) because I want her to feel beautiful and empowered and like she can always come to me when she needs an honest opinion. When someone says they want to open a business, or start working out, or have any type of goal under the sun; I support them. I genuinely want them to achieve their dreams.

I think this is a big problem for a lot of different people and friendships. I know that other people have this issue because I have seen it done before. For instance, some of my friends don’t have very good ‘poker face’ so if I tell them something in person that I am excited or proud about – I can see their real thoughts. They may say “congratulations, I’m happy for you” but in reality, their face says jealousy, confusion, anger or literally no expression at all. It works the same for those that are genuinely happy for you. That shows how much a person cares for you. I encourage everyone to try that approach, but I am not saying to drop a friend. Like I said, I have some friends that secretly don’t want me to advance (my thoughts at least), but I watch what I tell them, when I tell them, etc. The reason being, it really brings me down when others  aren’t as encouraging and if my ‘advancement’ is causing others grief then there isn’t a reason to tell those people.

Lessons Learned:

  • You won’t make everyone happy
  • Being a good person doesn’t cost anything

 

 

One thought on “The Huge Problem with Friendships

  1. Empty Nest Adventures says:

    Sadly, there are a lot of people out there that are damaged and aren’t good friends/people. I have no problem cutting them out of my life. It can be hard, especially when in my case, it was a sister who loved it when bad things would happen to me. But the good news is that there are a lot of really wonderful people out there too. I focus on them and feel compassion towards the others. How sad to live a life like that.

    Liked by 1 person

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